I've learned not to judge too quickly.
Lately, I've been meeting a lot of people who surprise me with how easily I can become friends with them, relate to them, etc. It's shown me that I shouldn't judge too quickly, because I may be missing out on some great opportunities.
I've learned who my real friends are.
To all of you who are happy for me now, because I am happy and content in the situation I am in now, Thank you. I love and appreciate you and I hope you always know and remember that. But to all of those people who cant seem to find anything else better to do than talk about me behind my back, judge me for my actions, or be "mad" at me for decisions that I make - WellI'm sorry, but I don't think my personal life, or my life in general, has anything to do with you. My choices are between God and I, and the people involved. And frankly, you arent involved. If you were, you'd know.
And just because you know someone, doesn't mean you know what's best for them. That's what Mothers are for and last I checked, I already had a mother.
But thank you for your concern.
I've learned to let people in, and let things out.
I've done a lot of thinking in my time. Maybe too much some of the time. In the past, I have had a tendency to hold things in and then just blow up when things got too bad. Well I'm getting better, and I've promised myself that I will say something AS SOON AS a problem arrises, instead of just letting it eat away at me like a nail in a coke bottle. I'm done having holes dug in me from the emotional shovels that I swallow. It's time to get some soil and fill in the empty spaces.
I've learned that there is a reason for everything.
If I hadnt of run off with so-and-so, that weekend on tour, I wouldnt have realized what I was giving up with you. I'm glad everything happened the way it did, but most of all, I'm glad we are back together. I'm glad we can talk and be us and make plans, without having to involve anyone else. Not by choice, anyways. I love you, and I always will.
I've learned that toddlers can be fun.
Bailee has been an absolute doll lately. She says Please and Thank You (in words and in sign language) and Excuse me, and she asks for what she wants. So far, she is the most well-behaved two year old that I have ever encountered. Except maybe Olivia, fromt he Cosby show. But who knows how she really was ;) But anyways, I am reminded daily of how great a blessing Bailee truly is, and I love to watch her grow and learn. She's always so excited about trying new things and learning and striving to move forward. It motivates me to do the same!!!
I've learned to trust the Lord.
In the past, I've had a hard time just "setting my life in God's hands" and letting it be. I always thought that I would try it on my own first, and then if it didnt work, ask for Heavenly Father's help. Well, I was stupid in that respect. I have learned to put my life, my thoughts, my hopes, dreams, and wishes for the future, in God's hands FIRST. I believe...I KNOW that he will always find a way for me (for anyone) to accomplish what is needed. If it is right, he will help.
I've been reading scriptures every night (partnering up with Joe. Part of us basing our relationship on God and not each other, or the drama that goes on around us.) and then praying afterwards. I've started going to bed earlier and earlier because I look forward to reading scriptures, and I want to have time to really focus on it. I've started sleeping better than I ever have in my life, having amazing dreams, waking up in the morning feeling absolutely wonderful. I'm not saying that scripture study is a cure-all, but I'm saying that it's definitely helped me along the way in trying to become better, and finding myself in the Lord. And, it's a habit that I am not willing to give up.
Hi, I'm Esther Moore, and I'm addicted to reading scriptures and praying about them.
I've learned that things are not always as hard as they sound.
My cd will be done soon. Who would have thought I'd ever ACTUALLY get a cd recorded? I always hoped I would, and wished it would happen, but I honestly dont think I ever BELIEVED in myself enough to make it happen. I am so grateful that it all is coming together so well. The music sounds great and the cd cover looks Awesome! (Thanks, Mom.) I'm excited to release it, and hear people's feedback. I can't wait!
I've learned to live and let die.
The last few months of my life have been greatly overshadowed by the last few weeks. The opinions and love I had for certain people have been completely changed due to some things that have happened, things that have been said, attitudes between people, etc. And not necessarilly in a good way.
For a while, I had that slight hope of still being friends. The small chance that since I am a nice person, my ability to be nice and cordial to someone would help them want to do the same in return. The classic "golden rule" effect. Well, I'm not so sure it's working. It seems like lately, some of the people who were once in my life cant seem to do anything besides the things that I was trying to get away from in the first place. Which makes it that much easier for me to write them off as friends, or even "aquaintences" and still feel perfectly justified, without having to be mean. It makes it easy on me, so Thanks, I guess.
It's been really eye opening the last two weeks or so. Something I wish could have happened a long time ago, but at the same time, I dont regret a thing. Things happen for a reason, like I said above, and though I'm not QUITE sure what the reasons are for all of this, I'm willing to live and let die. I lived in that situation, I made those friends, I called the shots that I probably shouldn't have....But now I am letting go. Letting die.
Have fun on your side of the fence. This is one situation where I can say that the grass is definitely not greener. I'll stay in my own yard, thanks.
I've learned to like surprises.
I dont really have an explanation for this one, other than people surprise me, and more often than not lately, it's been a good thing. Its changing my views of people and things radically. I guess this could have gone under the "don't judge too quickly" category, huh?
I've learned to destress.
Before, my songs were about love; love lost, love gained, etc etc etc. Now I'm jsut...playing. I love to just sit down with my guitar, or in front of the piano, or the computer (to compose on cakewalk) and play my life away. There doesnt have to be words, like I always thought were so important. "Where words fail, music speaks." I've truly felt that lately. I've come up with some beautiful music that would only be brought down by adding something so simple and sinister as the English language. I think I'd rather just hear the melodies and harmonies and soft musical prayers that my fingers have been producing lately. I truly feel inspired, and can only thank one person.
I've learned to not get offended.
Okay, so in the past, I would. Someone would say something about me and I would get offended. Even if it was a joke. I would play it off like I didnt care, but I did. I would let things get to me, hold them in, and then at the least convenient time, I'd blow up, ruinging friendships, etc etc etc. BUT - I've realized that most of the time, when people are saying something about you, it's because they are not happy with themselves, or they are FOR SOME REASON, not happy with you....Which no one can really help I mean, if I went out and killed someone's parents, then thaty would give them the perfect right to say mean and nasty things about me. But it still wouldnt change the fact that they're parents were dead and I was probably in jail. (This would never happen, it's just an example....and probabaly not a very good one, come to think of it...) What I'm trying to say is, what does it solve, to talk badly about someone? I'll state things that I realize abuot people, but I try my darned hardest not to go around saying "so-and-so is a blankety blank blank" or "so-and-so did such-and-such and I will never forgive him for it because that is NOT what blah blah blah blah BLAH." I state observations. I form an opinion of someone, and yeah, it can change, but it rarely does unless I have a reason to do so. Most of the time, my opinions of people are good (with few exceptions). But I still can't paint everyone to be the "nice" person I'd like to think of them as. Some people just make it really hard to like them. Especially when you KNOW they can't be trusted.
It's these people that I used to get offended by. But I've finally learned to just let it be. Take what they say witha grain of salt.....Let their words and opinions rest on your shuolder, and then just brush it off. Let it fall to the floor unnoticed, even, because what harm are WORDS going to do, if you dont let them? Words dont have amind of their own. They dont attack like it sometimes feels like they are doing. It's the people who do the attacking. So if you are uncomfortable, then dont put yourself in that situation! Which is exactly what I am doing. So, sorry if you are one of those people that I am avoiding, but I feel the need to have friends who respect and appreciate me. Not friends who calculate the consequences and stupidity of my every move, when really, I've got it figured out a heck of a lot more than they do. Oh, and if you're one of the people I'm avoiding, you'll know. It'll be obvious.
I've learned to be blunt.
Some people just don't get it unless you are. You can say "No sweetie, I dont really feel like going out tonight" to get out of a date a million times, but there comes a point where you just have to say "NO I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU!" (Another bad example, probably...) I've learned to be nice, but not too nice. If I have to say something, I will. If it's going to hurt someone's feelings, I try not to, but if it's for their own good, I will. I'm sorry if I offend you in any way shape or form, but certain things just need to be said. And with people down my throat all the time about my life and my choices, I think it's about dang time I spoke up and stood up for myself. So...Sorry to all of you out there who like to be controlling, but I'm not allowing it any more. I am my own person, and the only person who has the right to control me is God, and myself. And waht did God give all of us? FREE AGENCY.
Maybe you should learn to take advantage of it too, instead of forcing your opinions on everyone else. Just a thought....
I've learned to love.
No need for explanation, because if you are involved, then you dont need one. And if you arent involved, then you don't need to be.
Just a few thoughts of mine lately.
Love,
Esther
p.s. Go to www.esthermoore.com if you haven't already and check out the demos of the cd I'll be releasing soon. Enjoy!
