12.07.2006

Hit me with your light




Ryan Cabrera
Hit Me With Your Light


Hit me with your light
I'm lost without your help
me find the right way out
I miss the way it was
Can anybody hear me
Crying out for love me like a newborn baby
I can only dream

Hit me with your light
Will you catch me if I fall
I would give my life
If it meant anything at all
Lord help me carry on
Will you be there when I'm gone

So come escape the night
I'm stuck inside this moment
It's all that keeps me goin'
Callin' out for truth
I battle with the times we fight to find eachother
Afraid we might discover who we really are

Hit me with your light
Will you catch me if I fall
I would give my life
If it meant anything at all
Lord help me carry on
Will you be there when I'm gone
I'm gone

Hit me with your light
Will you catch me if I fall
I would give my life, yea
If it meant anything at all
Lord help me carry on
Will you be there when I'm gone
One of my fave's right now... I thought the picture fit it well.

Bailee Mine - Nov 29. 2006



12.04.2006

Really Rough Draft

The Latest
a REALLY Rough Draft of a song Im writing

I open my mouth to sing,
and you can see right through me.
I open my eyes to see,
And Im invisible
I look around me to take in my surroundings
And I disapear
And then the words begin...

I'm praying for change
And I'm praying for a chance
I wanna see the world go round.
I wanna watch it all go down.
I wish you were here,
and I wish you werent
But most of all,
I'm trying not to drown

Im praying for you,
And Im praying for me,
I wanna hear you say my name,
I wanna see you feel my shame
I wanna hear your reasons
for leaving me the short rope
I need to hear your voice
to give me just a little bit of hope.

Cuz I need a chance to show you
I need to get to know you
My feelings show but
You'll never know
How much I care

Cus Im praying for understanding
and Im praying for you to hand me
a clue
I wanna know your near me
I wanna know what you need
I wanna know you

My feelings show,
But you'll never know
How much I care

Bailee Sleeping

My Quirks

Quirky Things About Esther Pester *a.k.a. ♥Ster♥
♥ I sometimes write poetry and I dont know where the feelings came from that made me write it - it can get scary sometimes lol ♥ I love it when guys act nerdy - like when they get embarassed easily, or they know weird things that no one else knows ♥ I sing to myself when im mad ♥ I dance when Im alone... ♥ I love to run....and run....and run - it gives me time to think ♥ I play guitar - and write my own music ♥ I write song lyrics and poetry ♥ More than half of the stuff I write is hidden in places no one will ever find ♥ I sometimes wonder if Im kidding myself, or if I really am just...this weird lol ♥ I know how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue, and uwrap a starburst in my mouth without ripping the wrapper ♥ My goal in life is to always have faith...and my best friend's name is Faith...does that count? haha ♥ I actually LIKE school...and I LOVE doing homework. Yeah - Shoot me because I know you hate me for saying that but I DONT CARE ♥ I think its cute when old people kiss and hold hands, specially my parents, but they arent old ♥ I like talking about personal stuff with my friends, and believe it or not - my family ♥ I have amazing dreams that I wish i could paint or at least explain to someone...but i cant! ♥ I have faked sick to stay home and take a super long shower - good stress reliever ♥ I have more nicknames then freckles on my body...which is quite a few if you've never looked lol ♥ I fish for compliments sometimes...who doesnt? ♥ I have many talents, but one I like particularly is that I can read peoples emotions and help to solve problems or just cheer someone up lol ♥ I love colors...all of them. Im just an artist, what can i say? ♥ Music is my passion, and Anthony is my love...Which one comes first on my priority list? Well passion would...but I am going to have to say that I would give up music for Anthony, but I wouldnt give up Anthony for music...so theres your answer ♥ I have VERY early childhood memories ♥ I love to tell stories of my past...even if no one wants to hear them or has already heard them lol ♥ My older siblings used to tell me to run laps around the house outside (when I was being annoying) and I'd actually go do it. So Weird... ♥ I think the weirdest things are funny. Like the fact that I get Gym (physical Education) credit at this new school, just for breastfeeding...hah♥ People say Im like my mom - and I dont mind. Im flattered to be following her footsteps ♥ My husband says I always have to be right, and I say "No I dont" to still be right!! Maybe I do...♥ I love to write, and sometimes I get carried away and write weird stuff....like right now lol ♥ If I think of a song and cant remember the name, I HAVE to figure it out....or if I can remember the face of a person and not their name....Or if I cant figure out how to change a font color....I guess what Im trying to say is...Im a probem solver at heart ♥ I like to overwork myself and feel it in my muscles the next day, just so I know something is changing ♥ If running were drugs...Id have to go to rehab permanently ♥ I'll think something over and over in my head before I say it, and then when I say it, I think I already did - or I will say it twice on accident because I think I didnt yet...get what im saying? ♥ I nod my headand say yes even when Im not listening - its a habbit ♥ I love to read books and pretend Im the person Im reading about ♥ I am in love with the tvshow Gilmore Girls, and Scrubs. The mom on GG and the main guy in Scrubs remind me of myself ♥ I love my husband, even when he is acting like a disgusting boy - im glad he feels comfotable around me. Sometimes a little too comfortable lol ♥ The internet is great. Just so you know. ♥ I listen to some songs that totally suck, just because they make me laugh...really hard ♥ I cant be mean to people, unless I have a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY good reason...
and my Last ♥ I am amazed with everything. How everything works, How everything lives...But most of all - How I got to where I am today. I wouldnt change a thing.
Life is good...Keep on Keepin' On, and Life will stay sweet ♥
♥With Love, Ster

12.02.2006

story of my life

"Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worth while achievement." -Henry Ford

11.24.2006

My Current Favorites

"You are Beatiful"
Photo By Rachel Mardis
Chicago, Illinois

"Colorful Personality"
Drawn By: Timmi Moore
Effects By: Esther Dearwester

"Dreams of Fire"
By: Esther Dearwester

11.19.2006

So does anyone even read my posts? Because there are no comments and I havent gotten any feedback....My writing is going to the wind...

Esther

11.17.2006

hmm...not quite sure



La Di Da, Just another entry from the "Me" Files......

The world has changed, my friends.
We used to be able to be who we were really, with no questions asked, no problems evolving out of ridiculous drama. Now, we spend all our time looking back on "the good 'ole days", when really, they weren't that long ago. We just forget things so quickly while we are distracted by the real world...real life. I dont wish I could go back in time - That wouldnt change anything. I wish people would be people...not things. Or "characters" - EAch person made up in their own mind, and played out by the body they live in. Its like we are living in a theater. You hold in silent screams of annoyance while wearing a smiling mask over your face, trying to be who you are really...inside. But its hard when everyone expects you to be so different. So...perfect. And you want to just tell them all to mind their bussiness, but then you remember that you asked them for their opinion...so you just sit and listen, smiling, wishing you never had. Your mind starts to wander, and suddenly, you are somewhere else, someone...different. Someone real, created by your soul - not pushed and pulled into shape by the world, or the people in it. Someone alive. If only you could stay there...




.....Okay so I have no idea where this came from, I just started writing and it all came out. I guess my unconscious mind has taken over once again. But anyways....Thats only a sample. Love ya, Esther

11.15.2006


This is me messing around with Rebecca's camera before I got my hair highlighted. I'm not sure if we managed to get any "after" pictures, but I'll try to find some. It's pretty noticeable. If you have seen me since these pictures were taken, then you can compare the real deal! Love you all, EstherPester

11.07.2006

baby Bailee

She's the most Beautiful thing ever! We love her so much! I'm typing with one hand, holding her with the other - so details will be quick.

8 lbs 8 oz. - 19.5 inches - born @ 5:39pm
16 hrs labor....a lil over an hour pushing time.

Love you all!




10.30.2006


So.....I've currently figured out that you get alot of time to think when you are 9 months pregnant and waiting to pop. Here are some of the things I've been thinking:

* My neices and nephews are going to be role models to my little girl...and Im happy to say that I am perfectly okay with that. In fact - I'm looking forward to seeing what they'll teach her...whether they mean to or not ;)

* Having a little girl makes you attracted to pink - no matter how much you try to avoid it, or deny that its your--dare I say it--FAVORITE COLOR?!

* Drawing is a very good way to pass time. Well, mostly thinking of what to draw - and then the drawing part doesnt take that long - It's the planning part that keeps you busy. Or at least thats how it goes for me...

* Cooking is a very good way to get over the famous "nesting instinct" when you can't unpack anything in your new house because walls arent painted and boxes are too heavy. So sad...

* Fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes while you are stll pregnant makes you feel like a million bucks....even if its just sweatpants.

* Carrying around 30+ extra pounds for a few months can get VERY, VERY frusterating. Especially when the 30 lbs keeps changing shape, so you run into things unexpectedly - Therefor having bright new bruises to show off weekly...sometimes daily.

* Becoming a mom makes you an automatic record keeper...Which is hard to do with no camera - But I think I'll manage.

* Scrapbooking is my favorite thing to do right now, Which is funny because I'm not scrapbooking. I'm looking at my boxes of scrapbooking supplies hidden behind things in the front porch, contemplating on how to get them down- And never coming up with a safe solution.

* I've found that I miss writing, so Im going to do it more often. Finally - Something useful to do with my time...........as if I was free before?

* And last of all, with all of this thinking - I've found that I think too much. :)

EstherPester

Theres a First for Everything

Hey Everyone! So I got my own blog, in order to add to the family blog. I've never done this before - other than little stuff on "myspace" - but I guess there is a first for everything! I'll keep you all posted with news, dates, pictures, and other interesting stuff as often as I can. Love you all! Enjoy -
EstherPester