These are a few things I've written for the Open Learning English Class that I am enrolled in at JWCC. I got REALLY good grades and remarks on them, so I thought I'd share my talent. Enjoy!
[This one, the teacher thought was funny. Said I should consider comedy as a hobby. I told her I'm naturally comedic, and MUSIC was my hobby. She laughed even harder...]
ENG 101 WELLER OLC
Esther Moore
Process Paper
How to Procrastinate Writing a Process Essay
Whether you are listening to music, watching television, sleeping, or going to karaoke night, you are still procrastinating. When asked to write a process essay, your first thought is “I don’t know anything well enough to describe it to someone”. After some careful thought and consideration, you realize that you know about way too many things to choose one and describe it. You think and think, brainstorming over and over about what you could possibly have to say that would sound important when written on paper. You want the paper you are printing on to be worth its while, and you pinpoint the one thing that you know everything about: procrastinating.
You could start writing the paper as soon as you think of the topic, but that would make you responsible. Instead, you log on the computer, open Microsoft word to make it look like you are writing a paper, and then open the internet. While the page is loading, you try to think of a thesis statement. And into your head comes...nothing. So you lean back and relax in your chair, and smile when you see the homepage on your web browser. You decide to waste some time.
After a while of surfing the internet, you get bored and decide to do some homework from your other classes. Taking out a notebook and pen, you brainstorm once more on what you could be telling someone about in a process essay. Still, nothing comes to mind and you turn once more to the internet for help. You go to www.Google.com and type in “processes” and hit the search button. Millions of things pop up! Engineering, computers, music writing, household projects, and cooking are just a few of the pages you are linked to. You realize that this idea did not help at all. Maybe a good meal would help you to focus?
After cooking, eating, and cleaning up some of your favorite food, you sit down and think “I am forgetting something.” Not able to think of what it is, you turn the television on for a bit. After channel flipping for about an hour, you realize that there is absolutely nothing on. You go to the fridge for desert and realize you are out of milk, so you get in your car and drive to the Grocery store with the radio blocking out all thoughts of education or academics. When you return home, you see your backpack on the floor and remember that you have a job to do. “I should probably work on that English paper,” you think. You stop for a moment, think about it, and decide to call a friend. Maybe they can give you some ideas on what to write about.
After a long phone conversation with your roommate about what your plans are for that night, you hang up and get to work. After thinking about it for a while, you realize that all you have done in the past three days is not written your English paper. You realize that it had to be thought carefully about, in order to truly put off the writing until the last possible moment. You also realize that in order to think that carefully about something, and act on it after careful thought and consideration, it must be a process. This realization has given you an idea, and you turn the idea into an essay. The process has been completed.
AND: Some questions for the day. I'll be posting new ones every so often, and you all should copy, paste, and post onto your own blogs. It will be fun, I promise!
PLEASE do this. I want to hear your answers!
Mine are below the questions.
What is...
• 1 - What is something you dislike about yourself?
• 2 - What is something you do well?
• 3 - What is your favourite room in your home and why?
• 4 - What is a good neighbour?
• 5 - What is the worst thing parents can do to their children?
• 6 - What is your favourite time of day?
• 7 - What is your idea of a dull evening?
1) My ability to use words negatively. It's something I try not to do, but if I'm ever angry...sometimes they hurt worse than I intend for them to.
2) Sing, write music, and write. My three favorite time-passers. In order.
3) My room. It has everything I need to stay occupied. Now all I need is a fridge....
4) Someone who you can get to know, but not be embarrassed or frightened by them. And they should never be nosey. Just considerate, and casual.
5) Not be parents.
6) Morning(ish), surprisingly. Between the hours of 8 and 11, I'm energized and ambitious. Especially lately.
7) Homework. Ugh.
Don't forget to post your own responses!!
Love, Esther
