5.30.2007

some recent writing....i think

This is some of my fave. writing that I randomly decided to post. Enjoy.

Realistic Fantasy vs. Fantastic Reality

Moral meant more to you than I,
Yet why deny love for salvation?
Once, merely dreaming of no end was enough.
Now, falling in sweet desire for truth, I need more.
Something different, a definition to life.
You come along - and all of the sudden
I question my reality, and make it yours.
Not realizing the mistake I am making...
Overlooking what I would have found, had I just been patient.
Yet you draw me in to the point of addiction, almost.
All I can do is give love to you, at best.
Still wondering why... I feel somewhat trapped.
But what does it matter anyway, as long as I am loved in return.
Or maybe...even if I am not...


Esther Christina Moore
Copyright ©2006 Esther Christina Moore


Sweet Agony

I saw your smile, though you tried so hard to hide it.
I wondered if you were really happy, or just enjoying my pain.
The self-destructive graffiti written on my heart
had begun to etch itself into my brain, sending shooting pains
of your presence through my once-warm soul.
I cried out at the thought of being happy again,
and laughed in the face of redemption.

If only you could see me now, see how I am coping without you.
If only you could see the way I let out a small grin before falling to sleep at night,
because I know that I am safe, and you are miserable without me.

The whispered secrets that once tortured me and
tied me to a web of deceit have finally started eating away at themselves,
breaking off this ball and chain that I have carried for so long.
And oh, how nice it feels to think I’m free.
How wonderful it is to believe in myself once again,
Or at least believe in the thought of my success,
Whether it’s relevant or not.

Right now I imagine you stealing glances at what you see as a withered soul,
When really, she is just another person, on just another rainy day,
Hoping for a savior.

You could have been my hero, and instead you were my sickness.
The cancer that brought me down to underestimation and hate.
I once loved you, and I trusted your kindness to catch me,
If I had only dared or decided to fall.
And when I did, where were you?
I gave my all, only to gain your disrespect.
I gave my self and my everything, only to think
that you would be the death of me.
When really, you were the only one really dying.
Withering away beyond repair, beyond help, Beyond loving.

Withering away to only a wisp of a care-free man needing a helping hand,
to pull you from the tormenting waters.
They pressed themselves into your lungs, and surged through your mind,
telling you of my heartfelt feelings.

If only what they had said were true,
You would not have ended up so miserable.
And in time you might have realized,
That It was I, who was the hero, after all.

-----That one is brand-spankin new.



Searching

I looked in the mirror, only to see your face staring back at me.
The first thing I did was turn and run, never looking back,
Only wishing that the past would not repeat itself.
I’ve been searching for something for quite some time now.
I’m not sure what, but I feel I’ve found it.
It’s right here, just out of reach, just waiting to be grasped in desperation.
I’m looking for a sign to tell me things will change,
But I’ve been looking since I met you, and I haven’t found one yet.




Unknowingly Trapped

Longing for reassurance, I look for you,
Only to turn away at the last possible moment.
And run, farther, down the wrong path.
My feet hit the ground like thunder.
My breath freezes in mid-air,
Crashing down like that china plate you threw at me.
The clouds start to turn, twist, and change.
The wind screams and they mourn for me.
I turn down a different path, lit with sunshine,
And see you standing there, smiling.
But wait, is it you? Or someone else,
Needing to be noticed, seen, and loved.
Is it someone else—needing me?
I slow down to a walk, looking down at my feet as I move.
The leaves almost jump out of my way,
And the grass bends under my gaze.
I look up, and no one is there anymore.
Nothing is the same now.
The sky looks green, and its just dirt.
Just stillness, silence, isolation.
Everything turns black, and I feel like my eyes are sewn shut.
I try to move and realize that I can’t feel anything.
I try to walk, and I fall.
Deeper and deeper into this black hole.
Screaming for a hero, a saint,
To take from this hell.
Calling out for kindness,
To save me from myself





Allright thats enough for today. Comment please!!!